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Thursday, March 7, 2013

On Giving Up

I gained a little weight.  It all seems like such an overwhelming task.  Lose 200 pounds.  Hmm...   I've had this blog now for over a year, and I gained weight during that time.  I'm learning a LOT about food, Superfoods, exercise, and recipes.  Maybe I should concentrate on that.  I've changed some major things: no more soda, far less fast food, no more frying, and adding different cereal, fruits, veggies, and fish.  They are good changes, but not enough.  I gave myself an intervention.

I don't know where to go from here.  My motivation is minimal, and my self-discipline sucks.  I'm so tired all the time and my head swims with the biggest numbers - the pounds.  The pounds.  The pounds.    I watch, "The Biggest Loser," and I think, they can do it, why can't I?  They have trainers and such, I know, but they do it.  As you know, I love Jillian - I respond to that toughness because I don't have the gut in me to do it.

I used to weigh 118 pounds.  I was 21, and I had just returned from the Air Force.  I could run miles.  I could complete a confidence course.

I was strong.

I miss that, and I crave that feeling of strength again.  I need it.  I want it.  I just need to figure out how to get from here to there before I drop dead.  Literally.  I can write about it all I want, but the pounds need to go.

What did you do to get the pounds off?


  1. oh wow i never knew you were in the AF!!!

    don't give up Nikki..I was like you in that no diet ever worked and I promise you when I tried one nothing detered me from it..I did not cheat!

    You have to keep going until you find the one that works.. whatever you try just try to get thru that day with it don't think in long terms. and the next day do the same. the old "one day at a time" the old "lots more veggies and fruit" works a bit for me. I haven't lost what you want to loose but anything that starts the loss is good because it's encouraging. If whatever you are doing isn't helping.. then try something else...there's something that will work for everyone, the trick is : to find it!

  2. Thanks, Pat! I appreciate your support so much. :)