Just One Thing ...

   I've been blue lately, having gained weight and all, and feeling like it's useless to continue, when my stepmother came up with: do one little thing.  That's all.  One thing in the day.  How could I fail at that?  I did, sorta.  She told me to walk to the mailbox.  I live on a plant, and there's men out there all day, so I didn't do that.  I could have after they left, but I didn't.  I could have done yoga, but I didn't.

   What I wanted to do, more than anything, is to go to Planet Fitness this morning when I woke up.  It's only $20 per month, and they even have coaches to help at that rate.  And right now, no start-up fee.  I get pumped watching the Biggest Loser contestants work out, and I know I need an environment of health, one where I can go every day.  Also, one where I can meet people like me.  The price can't be beat.

   If I go.  That's the thing about gyms ... which is why ole' hubby is not exactly a fan of them - or this idea.  We'll see.   

On Giving Up

I gained a little weight.  It all seems like such an overwhelming task.  Lose 200 pounds.  Hmm...   I've had this blog now for over a year, and I gained weight during that time.  I'm learning a LOT about food, Superfoods, exercise, and recipes.  Maybe I should concentrate on that.  I've changed some major things: no more soda, far less fast food, no more frying, and adding different cereal, fruits, veggies, and fish.  They are good changes, but not enough.  I gave myself an intervention.

I don't know where to go from here.  My motivation is minimal, and my self-discipline sucks.  I'm so tired all the time and my head swims with the biggest numbers - the pounds.  The pounds.  The pounds.    I watch, "The Biggest Loser," and I think, they can do it, why can't I?  They have trainers and such, I know, but they do it.  As you know, I love Jillian - I respond to that toughness because I don't have the gut in me to do it.

I used to weigh 118 pounds.  I was 21, and I had just returned from the Air Force.  I could run miles.  I could complete a confidence course.

I was strong.

I miss that, and I crave that feeling of strength again.  I need it.  I want it.  I just need to figure out how to get from here to there before I drop dead.  Literally.  I can write about it all I want, but the pounds need to go.

What did you do to get the pounds off?

Insomnia and Weight Gain

Insomnia is not fun.  Far from it, the tossing and turning, and eventual lack of sleep can be maddening.  The next day, you can resemble the best zombie in the world.  I know I do.  I probably will be tomorrow.  I was active today, as well, so I should be sleeping.  Oh yeah, and the sleeping medicine I take.  Of course, I'm on the computer, and that will only keep me awake.  That's the bad thing for a self-professed night owl and writer: the night is quiet and the world is asleep, so it's the best time to write.  You can get more done in a few night hours than all day!  Exactly how much rolling around am I supposed to suffer without sleep before I have to do something?

The problem is, most people eat out of boredom in the middle of the night.  There's nothing better than a bowl of cereal or peanut butter and jelly sandwich in the wee morning hours.  I haven't eaten, but I want to.  That's why I started writing!  "Move a muscle, change a thought."  Or, in this case, not eat.  I'm not hungry, it will mess with my metabolism if I eat this late - or early, and there's nothing I want.  Seems easy not to eat if I don't really want to, but I do sometimes, and many people do every night.

Here's some solutions:

1.   Read.  This usually will put people to sleep.  And a real book or magazine, too-
      Avoiding the back lighting of your Kindle or computer.
2.   Watch T.V. on low with a really boring, quiet show on.  It will lull you to sleep.
3.   Play solitaire.  With cards.
4.   Write.
5.   Work.  There's no reason not to if you are buggy.
6.   Listen to soft music.
7.   Rock yourself in a rocker or swing.  It's calming.
8.   Meditate.
9.   Take a hot bath. (Yes, even in the middle of the night.)
10.  See your doctor if none of this or other things you've tried have worked.

I'm not going to eat, put on TCM, and try to meditate to the sound of voices that remind me of my grandparents.  That usually works.  Good luck!