The Awful Truth

A trip to the doctor when you're the "F" word, fat, is not fun.  That's when you have to face the music, and after losing over 75 pounds in five years, I hate to say I've gained quite a bit back.  In the spirit of honesty and accountability, I weighed 311, which is "way" too much.  I'm only 5'4" and smaller boned.    When I was thin, I had a small frame.  My blood pressure was also up - 146/96.  Not cool.  I got new meds for that, but it's not the answer.  I've yet to receive my blood work back.  I will update as necessary.  What's gotta change?

Diet and Exercise.  I'm obviously not moving enough or eating the right things.  I plan to get the South Beach Diet book today at Walmart, as I know at least a dozen people that have used this and it worked.  They have also kept the weight off.  My love and I are already walking every day after work... that started a few days ago.  I'll keep doing the yoga, and I'm going to keep up with the cardio that's been suggested by Jonna and Miss Katie.  It's the discipline I've got to demand of myself.  I've never been good at it, but I'd better be, or I won't need to worry about it at all.  That's not an option.  I'm pretty low about all this, but I'm trying to move forward...

Pizza Attack!

I had a great need for a pizza today.  Okay, maybe not a need, but definitely a hankering.  I didn't want to sabotage all that I had done all week, and my groceries were limited - as tomorrow is our shopping day.  I also couldn't literally afford a pizza.  Hmm...  What to do?

Pita Pizza.  That's it.  I put whole wheat pitas on a cookie sheet, spooned a couple of tablespoons of heart healthy tomato sauce with portobello mushrooms on top, and capped it off with a couple of tablespoons of cheese.  On my man's, because he is such a meat-eater, I sauteed some onions, chopped ham lunch meat (70 calories), and two chopped brats.  I topped his with cheese as well.  He LOVED it. Although, I would use pineapple next time instead of the brats, and that would make a Hawaiian pizza! It would also save a lot of fat and calories.

Anyway, I loved my little cheese pizza, and with a salad, it was plenty.  I'll have to look up how many calories I saved...  BTW, I cooked it on 400 degrees for 8 minutes.  It could have used 10.  :)

Depression and Food

They seem to go hand-in-hand with me.  If I'm blue, I either don't eat at all, as my stomach gets into knots, or I eat too much because it dulls the pain.  Chocolate and sugar give me that feel good thing, temporarily, and carbs do the same.  Comfort food is the best: mac and cheese, breakfast, potatoes, ice cream, and more.  Problem is, they go straight to fat and the good feeling doesn't last long.  That doesn't stop me on some days, though.  Many people are like me, or we wouldn't have an obesity problem in this country, and skinny people "junk out" from time to time as well.  What do do with your feelings?

I don't feel like exercising in these times, but I have to push myself to be productive, as that changes my mood and thoughts.  I have an old friend that says, "move a muscle, change a thought."  She's right, and it works most of the time.  I have to go outside, as Katie says light therapy works to brighten you and wake you up to the world.  I have to stock my kitchen with "clean" food, so that when I want to splurge, I can do so in a healthy way - at the very least.  I love the vegan, chocolate, no-bake cookies that I made a couple of weeks ago, and I want to make Katie's cookies today or tomorrow.  I'll let you know how it turns out - and give you the recipe.  :)  For now, it's breakfast for dinner...

Don't Forget to Eat!

I worked all weekend.  I don't know why I keep thinking that I'll get a weekend to do anything I'd like to...  We painted the living room a warm caramel color, and that was a two-hour project which included a lot of sweat.  It was 82 degrees in the house, so the sweat factor was high.  That's a good thing.  After that, I worked on Pinterest projects and cleaned the house, forgetting to eat on time.  I was famished come dinnertime, and I ate more than I should have.

Vowing not to let that happen again, I woke Sunday to my little office cleaning job.  Another couple of hours go by, and I come home to clean and do MORE projects.  I couldn't help myself.  I just had to get those things done.  I have an obsessive need to be crafty lately.  That's great, but I forgot to eat again, and then ate late and more than my stomach needed.  It's good to be busy, but not to sabotage it all at the end of the day!  I think I better put myself on a little schedule of eating a little something every three hours.  I normally eat smaller meals throughout the day, but not this weekend.  Letting myself get too hungry is not a good idea.  Why?  Besides all that I've mentioned, I'm now up in the middle of the night with heartburn, so I've disrupted my sleep, too.  Good thing, "Tomorrow is another day..."

Exercise from Anywhere!

My friend, Dr. Jonna, came over the other day, and was kind enough to pick up my Chinese herbal meds that I take.  Keeps me calm and has completely done more than Activia has attempted to do for years!  I'm starting a menopause pill, and I'm waiting to see if it works on those symptoms.  I'll let you know when I know.  Anyway, I was telling Jonna all about my ankle still hurting, and it's even more painful when I exercise.  If you remember, I sprained it terribly in June - at my wedding!  It still swells, is painful, and the doctor will see it at the end of the month.

However, I felt awful last Saturday, and I needed to move.  Jonna fixed me.  She taught me how to exercise from my chair, and some limited exercises standing up.  I learned how to do push-ups against the wall, reverse crunches, (doesn't hurt the neck), and a complete core and back workout right from the chair.  She said to use different kinds of things around the house to lift, to help get rid of the arm swing.  It works.  I feel better.  Also, my ankle is not as bad.  She said it would take about six months to heal properly.  I can't wait.  :)

Splurging on a Birthday Dinner... Moderation?

1548 calories all in - even the cake.  Not bad, when you consider what a trip for fast food or a dinner out would cost you - thousands.  Since my hubby made dinner for my birthday last night, I just knew I would go over my calories for the day - according to Jillian!  I did go over just a bit, but since he made things from scratch, I was able to eat what I wanted and not kill the entire week in a day.  SO, what did I eat?

For dinner, I had an appetizer of cold peel and eat shrimp, a dinner including: 1 1/2 pounds of crab legs (in shell), fresh asparagus, and rice pilaf, and a slice of chocolate cake for dessert.   Thank goodness Kevin cooked, as he controlled such things as salt, butter, and the way things were cooked.  He steamed the seafood and the asparagus.  He only used a small amount of butter for dipping, not to cook with, and he used less eggs and oil in the boxed cake.   I was able to splurge while eating the seafood I love, and I couldn't have been happier.

I just added up the calories I would have eaten had I gone to Red Lobster, and it was 3030 calories.  That included cheddar bisquits and a 1490 calorie dessert.  Would you think their chocolate cake would be that much?  By staying home and controlling my food, I cut the number of calories I would have eaten by over half.  Besides that, I got to watch a great movie, too.

Turning 45 with Low Motivation...

Tomorrow is my birthday.  I don't say that lightly anymore.  I've out-lived my father by nine years, and my mother passed away at 62.  That should be enough motivation, but it doesn't seem to be all the time.  It's a burden to be fat.  It's not fun, and it's damn hard to lose it.  Plus, I believe menopause has me in its grip, and that will make it even harder - or so I'm told.  I've got an appointment with the doctor at the end of the month for an official weigh-in, and to catch up on three years of missed appts. due to a lack of insurance.  With that taken care of now, we'll see what all my stats are - and I'll post them, because I want people to know what I am or am not up against in the fight to be healthy and smaller.  I wish for a punching bag and pink gloves for tomorrow - if not, I'll get them for myself.  I know that I need the cardio, and my ankle is still a big problem in doing exercises with Jillian.  The bag should provide the cardio, be easier on my ankle, and get out my aggression and frustration.  At the very least, it should help my arms - they seem to want to wave hello to everyone lately!

Cookies: Chocolate, Peanut Butter, and Vegan?

Yes!  Still a bit fattening, but in moderation, they are much better than a store-bought cookie.  They didn't take long to cook, as they don't have to bake, and they are very rich with chocolate, enough to satisfy the worst sweet tooth.  I only needed to eat one to get my fix, and well ... we won't talk about how I can decimate Oreos.  I got this recipe off of Yummly, but I'll place it here as well.  Tomorrow, I'll make a cookie that Katie gave me the recipe for.  I can't wait.

2/3 cup maple syrup (real stuff)
1/4 cup of flax seed oil
5 Tbsp. of cocoa
1 tsp cinnamon

Boil these ingredients for 3 minutes, take off the heat, and then add:

1/2 cup peanut butter
1 cup of oats
1 tsp. vanilla

Stir well, drop by spoonful on to wax paper or a plate, and then refrigerate 30 minutes to set.

My new fav chocolate treat!

Starve a Cold and Feed a Fever? Not!

My love has a small fever tonight, and we had to look up our grandmother's advice to see if it was true in the medical field.  It's not.  According to Web MD, you need to always eat, regardless of the illness, as your body needs the nutrients.  It gave advice to eat beta-carotene and vitamins C and E that you need for your immune system.  This lead us to a big debate about dinner.  We decided on breakfast, as we both grew up eating breakfast for dinner as a normal part of life.  Sometimes, it's the best choice.  Why?  It's comfort food, has protein, carbs, and fruit, and is delicious!

All in moderation: egg white omelets with baby portobello mushrooms, sweet potato home fries with a bit of cinnamon, cheese grits, and a bit of watermelon (to cool his fever), and we have a delicious impromptu meal!  My lover is in the kitchen - despite his small fever, as he loves his cooking more than mine.  I think I need Julia's cookbook, so that I may surprise him from time to time.

Yoga was today.  I love it.  Nothing like a workout followed by a nap from meditation!